Funny Couple Collections

Funny Baby

FUNNY CATS

Kitni Pyari Panty Hai

Sali Apne Jija Se Boli: “Jiju Meri Faraq Ke Niche Dekhein Kitni Pyari Panty Hai”

Jija Ne Jhuk Ke Dekha Aur Shock Se Bola: “Oh Shit, Pehley Panty Pehan To Lo”

Sali: “Ha ha Ha April Fool, Jiju“

Aaj Ki Nari Kya Nahi Kar Sakti

Theater Mein Naari Pradhan Film Chal Rahi Thhi

Ek Ladki Josh Mein Khadi Ho Kar Boli

“Aaj Naari Khadi Ho Jaaye To Kya Nahi Kar Sakti?”

Piche Se Awaj Aayi: “Susu“

Amazing Flirting one Liners

* Hey did it hurt????????when god dropped u from heaven????
* Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
* oh.... u r so gorgeous... that i almost forgot my standard pickup line
* i'm here to wipe tat singles tag ur carring!!
* do u believe in love at first sight or shud i pass ba again...
* hey beauty, i have lost my mobile, can i borrow your number?
* Is your name Gillette? 'Cause you're the best a man can get. ;)
* V both R staying alone, so whose house is the Best...?
* If you held up 11 roses in front of a mirror, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
* I waited my whole life to date the girl of my dreams, but I dumped that chick when I saw you.
* I may not be the best looking guy in here,but i'm the ONLY ONE talking to u
* You must be really tired!!! coz u have been running in my mind all day
* is that a stampead or is it just my heart pounding!!!
* Smile its the second best thing you can do with your lips...!!!!
* Do you have a coin? I want to call your parents to thank them.
* Its girls like u that cause global warming!!!!!!
* Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us.
* Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
* I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
* I seemed to have lost my way, would you mind taking me with you.
* Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
* Overheard in our computer lab: Just because your computers are incompatible, doesn't mean we are.
* You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
* My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?
* Excuse me, but I think I dropped something ... My Jaw !!!
* When God made you, he was showing off

Indian Independence Day sms messages

*Be Proud to be an Indian

31 States,
1618 Languages,
6400 Castes,
6 Religion,
6 Ethnic Groups,
29 Major festivals
& 1 Country!
Be Proud to be an Indian!..
Happy Independence Day………

*Happy INDEPENDENCE DAY

Happy B’DAY.
Oh no, Happy NATIONAL Day.
Oh i forget, Happy ANNIVERSARY.
No i Was Wrong. Happy VICTORY DAY.
Oh my god Happy NEW Year.

Oh shit Happy INDEPENDENCE DAY.

*I m in love, I’m passionate about him

I am in love,
I am passionate about him,
I loving every moment of it
and
why not its her 61st Birth Day.
Its apna india

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

*I’ve sumthing 4 u, close ur eyes

I have someting for u.
Close ur eyes:

1
2
3
4
5
6

CHEATER!!!

U didn’t close ur eyes.
So nothing 4 u Exept
My sincerity my love & prayers
Happy Independence Day

*Some Like Sunday

Some Like Sunday,
Some like Monday,
But i like One Day
And that is Independence Day

* Other might have forgotten,
But never can i,
The Flag of my country
Furls very high,
Happy Independence day

*Thousands laid down their lives so
that our country is breathing this day
Never forget their sacrifice…
Happy Independence Day

Happy Independence Day Quotes

Around the Web, join the celebrations and learn about the events leading up to the historic moment, and the words of inspiration that the heroes of the movement used to move their people closer to independence.

Explore both traditional and modern customs that surround the holiday in India, as well as in areas throughout the world where India's emigrees have made their homes.

You'll find Independence Day ecard greetings to send to family and friends, favorite recipes for sweets, special holiday dishes and kid-friendly resources to help commemorate this historic day ....

The world learned the power of nonviolent protest as Gandhi lead the diverse peoples of India in a struggle for home rule.

The state of India formally gained independence on August 15, 1947 after centuries of British rule - and years of turmoil. Today, the date is marked with somber speeches, colorful parades, and celebrations....in far-flung communities from New Delhi to New York City.

Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves… — Abraham Lincoln

India was the motherland of our race, and Sanskrit the mother of Europe’s languages: she was the mother of our philosophy; mother, through the Arabs, of much of our mathematics; mother, through the Buddha, of the ideals embodied in Christianity; mother, through the village community, of self-government and democracy. Mother India is in many ways the mother of us all.
Will Durant, American historian

In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be won… — Franklin D. Roosevelt

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action–
Into that heaven of freedom, my father, let my country awake.
Rabindranath Tagore

Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men… — Dwight D. Eisenhower

Liberty is the breath of life to nations… — Bernard Shaw

Celebrate your freedom in the world’s larget democracy “India”. Happy Independence Day. Proud to be an Indian

Other might have forgotten,
But never can i,
The Flag of my country
Furls very high,
Happy Independence day

We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made!” –Albert Einstein

28 states, 7 UTs, 1618 languages, 6400 casts, 6 religion, 29 major festivals and the ONE COUNTRY. Happy Independence Day. Jai Hind

“Even if I died in the service of the nation, I would be proud of it. Every drop of my blood… will contribute to the growth of this nation and to make it strong and dynamic.”

Indira Gandhi

“We have believed – and we do believe now – that freedom is indivisible, that peace is indivisible, that economic prosperity is indivisible”

Indira Gandhi

For some days, people thought that India was shaking. But there are always tremors when a great tree falls.

Ultimate collection of INDEPENDANCE DAY wallpaper

Independance Day Special Cards

9 places to see before they disappear

Churches of Biertan citadel in Transylvania, Romania

Russborough House, Ireland

Teatro Colon (Columbus Theater) in Buenos Aires, Argentina

Buddhist rock art in North Pakistan

Gingerbread Houses, Haiti

Old Town of Avila, Spain

Craco in Basilicata — Ghost towns in Italy

RAKSHA BANDHAN sms in hindi

Tumhari umar sabse lambi ho

Khuda ko kabhi tumhari jaroorat ho

Ho bhi to mere baad ho

Mere bhai humesha tum muskarate raho

Zindagee ke har saal yunhi jete raho

************************

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai

Ek Hazaron Mein Meri Behna Hai

Sari Umar Hame Sang Rehna Hai.

HAPPY RAKSHA BANDHAN

***********************

Kaamyabi tumhare kadam chume,

Khushiyan tumhare charo aur ho,

Par bhagwan se itni prarthana karne ke liye,

tum mujhe kuch to commission do!

To my extremely kanjoos brother…

“Happy Raksha Bandhan.”

Cool SMS SHAYARI

50 Cool SMS SHAYARI [Post Your Comments]

(1) Life ends when u stop dreaming, hope ends when u stop beliving,& love ends when u stop caring so dream,hope & love...life is beautiful
(2) Happiness keeps u sweet, trials make u strong, sorrows keep u human, sucess kepp u glowing & god keeps u going! wish u HAPPY NEW YEAR...
(3) Bhagwan se pani manga to sagar diya,pool manga to bageecha diya, ghar manga to mahal diya, paisa manga to aap ka number diya. Kab aau lene.
(4) Kuch badali hui takdir nazar aati hai, yado ki bas ek zanjeer nazar aati hai, padhe to kaya padhe, muje mobile me bhi teri tasweer nazar aati hai.
(5) Let me KISS ur LIPS let me FEEL ur TEETH let me taste ur TONGUE SMILE! this is ur friend COLGATE! reminding u 2 bruch ur teeth every morning. GOOD MORNING...
(6) Forgetting u is impossible, forgetting me is up 2 u,forget me never & u will have a friend forever.
(7) Ugta hua suraj dua de aapko, khilta hua phool khushbu de aapko, dene wala hazaar khushiyan de aapko!! JAI SHRI KRISHNA...
( Mohabat ek sahil hai toofano ke liye, ek aayna hai armano ke liye, ek mehfil hai anjano ke liye, par sach bat kahu ek khwaish hai aap jaise sathi pane ke liye!
(9) Dil ke risate bhi ajib hote hai pas rahekar bhi dur hote hai khusnaseeb to voh log hai jo aap se roj baat karte hai.
(10) Why do we close our eyes when we cry,when we kiss,when we pray, when we imagine,b'caz wonderful things in life r unseen & only felt by heart.
(11) Tarasti nazaron ki pyas ho tum, tadapte dil ki aas ho tum, bujti jindagi ki sas ho tum, phir kaise na kahu ? kuchh "KHAS" ho tum...
(12) I saw something in a shop window. It was stunning, cute, simply adorable. I was supposed 2 buy it 4 u, then I realised it was my reflection.
(13) Jane kab ye mot ka paigam aaye, jane kab is zindgi ki sam aaye, ye dost muje to us din ka intzar hai, jis din ye jaan tere kam aajaye.
(14) Aapake khayalonse fursat nahi milti.. hame ek pal ki raahat nahin milti.. mil to jata hai sab kuch.. bas aapaki ek jhalak nahin milti.
(15) Tute hue paymanese jam nahi aata, dilke marizko kabhi aaram nahi aata, aye dil todvne vale zara yeto soucha hota..EK BAAR TUTA HUA DIL KISIKE KAM NAHI AATA.
(16) My wishes 4u,great start 4 monday, no obstacles 4 wednesday, no worry 4 thrusday,smile 4 friday, enjoy 4 saturday & take care 4 sunday.
(17) If u every want 2 succeed in ur life,B sweet as honey, B reagular as clock, B fresh as rose, B soft as tissur, B strong as rock, B sure as death....
(1 Kadam kadam pe havao se talukh rakhna, Dosti ke daur pe Dosti ka aasra rakhna, Hamari yado ke SMS zarur ayenge Aap bas apna Inbox khali Rakhna..!!
(19) Aakhon ki zuban woh Samajh nahi pate. Hoth magar kuch keh nahi pate, apni BEBASI kis tareh kahe, koi hai jiske bina hum REH NAHI PATE !
(20) Smile is a language of love, smile is a source 2 win hearts, smile is a name of llively hood & smile crates greatness in personality so 'KEEP SMILING'...
(21) When god opened the window of heaven at morning, he saw me & asked 'What is ur wish 2day! 'I said,god take special care of the 1 reading this message.
(22) Ham kabi apno se khfa ho nahi sakte,dosti ke riste bewafa ho nahi sakte, aap bhale hame bhulake so jao,hum aap ko yad kiya bina so nahi sakte....
(23) "Apane se khone ka maza kuch aur hai,bandh aankho se dekhne ka maza aur hai,aansu bane lafz aur lafz gazal,teri yaadon ke sath JINE KA MAZAA KUCH aur hai."
(24) DOSTI KARO COLLEGE WALI SE,PYAR KARO OFFICE WALI SE,PROGRAMME KARO PADOS WALI SE,ANKH LADAO SALI SE,LOVE KARO DIL WALI SE,AUR MAR KHAO GHARWALI SE.
(25) WHAT IS KISS ? ANS. VERY SIMPLE ITSS AN INQUIRY IN THE TOP FLOOR ABOUT THE VACANCY IN GROUND FLOOR....
(26) Son asks his Dad diff btwn LOVE, BELIEF & RELIEF. Father says:Yr Mom is my LOVE.Your maid is my RELIEF & I'm your Dad - well,that's my BELIEF.
(27) Nipple Nipple dont be far Let me press u in my carup above the chest so highalways milky never dry let me suck u dont feel shy in the brassieres u will die
(2 what r d 3 biggest tragedies in a man's life? life sucks! job sucks!................ and wife doesnt.
(29) If u save this msg,it means I'm cute.If u edit this,I'm still cute. If u fwd this,u r spreading that i'm cute & if u erase this,urjealous of me coz i'm cute!
(30) Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
(31) Pass these words *JAI MATA DI* TO 12 people. Make a wish & after 12 days ur wish will come true. If u ignore u will have bad luck for 12 yrs.
(32) Na koi kisi se door hota hai, na koi kisi k karib hota hai,Pyar khud chal kar aata hai,jab koi kisi ke naseeb mein hota hai....
(33) Vajpayee was talking abt family planning in a speech. Laloo got angry, he stood up, & said: WHEN U DON'T PLAY THE GAME, DONT MAKE THE RULES.
(34) Husband came from church, lifted his wife up & carried her around.Wife: did father tel u 2 b romantic.Hsbd: No he told 2 carry my own sorrows.
(35) In life love is never planned nor does it happen 4 a reason when love is real it becomes ur plan 4 life & ur reason for living.
(36) Namaskar: Yeh hamari madhya ratri seva hai.Isme hum logo ko sote wakt dukhi karte hain. Is sewa ka labh uthane ke liye DHANYAWAD. Ab so jayiye.
(37) Hume aadat thi bahut peene ki,magar usne kasam dekar chuda di,magar jab betha yaro ki mehfil mai to,yaro ne uski kasam deke peela di.
(3 Dil ki galion mein koi gham na ho,hamari yeh dosti kabhi kam na ho,bas yehi dua hai ki tum khush raho,kya pata hum agar KAL HO NA HO.
(39) What is girl friend? a addition of problem,subtraction of money, multiplication of enemy, and division of friend.
(40) Kuch Nasha Aapki Baat ka hai, Kuch Nasha Dhimi Barsat ka hai, Hame aap yuhi Sharabi maat Kahiye, ye dil par asar aapse pahali mulakat ka hai...
(41) V met, it was by chance. V met again it was Luck.V bcame friends,it was Destiny.V r still frnds,its our Decision.V will always b frnds,thats a promise.
(42) Life is Chemistry, Dilute Ur Sorrows Evaporate Ur Worriz, Filter Ur Happiness, & U'll Find Crystls of Love.Have a wnderful day.
(43) Chaho to dil se hame mita dena,chaho to humko bhula dena per yea vaada karo ki jo yaad hamari aaye,to rona mat sirf sms kar dena
(45) Masti aankho me hoti hai,sharab me nahi.Bhakti shradhha me hoti hai, shabdo me nahi. TU bhi jan le mere dost Dosti Dil me hoti hai,sirf SMS me nahi
(46) I cannot find a reason Y God gave me U,but that's not the question to be asked,may be the question is, how did God know that i needed a person like YOU
(47) The twinkle in ur eye made my day,Ur smile made my week,Ur laugh made my month,Ur sweetness made my year AND Ur Friendship made my LIFE.
(4 Tuje dekhe bina teri tasvir bana sakta hu.Tuje mile bina tera hal bata sakata hu. Hai mere pyar me etna dam apni ankh ka ansu teri ANKH se gira sakta hu
(50) Mil jaye koi naya to hame na Bhoola dena,koi rulae tumhe to hume yaad kar lena, Dost hain tumhare khushi na sahi Ghum hi Baant Lena

Laws Which Newton Forgot To State

Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

Law of Mechanical Repair: after your hands become coated with grease, yr nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will !

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

The Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates

1. This just in... Apple has just hired LeBron James to fix the iPhone problem signal!
2. knows how to stop the BP Oil leak from putting out... Just put a giant wedding ring on it!
3. says finally an iPhone killer... You're left hand!
4. says Hello ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. I’m on a horse.
5. sometimes runs up to strangers on the street and yells "YOU'RE IT!!" and then runs away.
6. is a little down since nobody wished her a happy birthday today, which isn't surprising really, since it isn't my birthday.
7. is wondering if you choke a smurf... what colour would he turn?
8. hates it when people say stuff in their status updates that you really didn't want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poo.
9. not only had to take his mom to the prom.. he had to pay her $20...
10. You f***ing do. You go out in public and it’s a f***ing embarrassment. You look like a f***ing bitch on heat.!@#$$@#$... SORRY Mel Gibson was updating my status update.
11. has breaking news.. many iPhone4 users are irrate that their wireless signal suddenly drops. Steve Jobs said the problem is in the software and recommends that they download the latest version of Apple's iDon'tcare.
12. 's Miami sources say, Lebron James is not signing with them anymore. He's going to stop the oil spill!! He is going to clog the pipes with his ego.

Funny One-Liners

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Assassins do it from behind.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass?
Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
Death is hereditary.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Did anyone see my lost carrier?
Diplomacy is the art of saying good doggie while looking for a bigger stick.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
Double your drive space. Delete Windows!
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.
Get a new car for your spouse; it'll be a great trade!
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Honk if you want to see my finger.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
How does Teflon stick to the pan?
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
If you get to it and you can't do it, well there you jolly well are, aren't you.
If you haven't much education you must use your brain.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.
Keep honking. I'm reloading.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Montana: At least our cows are sane!
More hay, Trigger? No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.
My hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom.
My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Quickly, I must hurry, for there go my people and I am their leader.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Remember half the people you know are below average.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set
Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date!
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.
The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
The universe is a figment of its own imagination. There's no future in time travel.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What's the speed of dark?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Who stopped payment on my reality check?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.
You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

romantic one liners

There is a fullness of all things, even of sleep and love

Love is an endless mystery, for it has nothing else to explain it romantic one liners

The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end

There is no love sincerer than the love of food

There is no wisdom without love romantic oneliners

The best of the houses is the house where an orphan gets love and kindness

Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it. Anyone who truly loves God travels securely. Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. Each bird loves to hear himself sing

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain

Love is letting go of fear

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar

We love in others what we lack ourselves, and would be everything but what we are

He who merely knows right principles is not equal to him who loves them

None love the messenger who brings bad news one liners

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness

We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end

We can do no great things, only small things with great love

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love

Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor. (When love is not madness, it is not love.) There is a fullness of all things, even of sleep and love

To live is like love, all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it

I was in love with loving

I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. THE BELOVED

Man is sometimes extraordinarily, passionately, in love with suffering

Unable are the Loved to die For Love is Immortality romantic one liners

Music is Love in search of a word

Battle of deer

Deer are the ruminant mammals that live in all continents except in Antarctica and Australia. You can find them mostly in tundra areas and they also can be found in rainforests. Deer are very beautiful animals but you better be away when males are fighting for territory or for a female.

Those deer had a really bloody fight and as you can see they had some unusual accident, their horns couldn’t separate after one of many clashes. So humans come in to help in but they had to cut some of their beautiful horns.